Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Ultra Sheen Interview



Hello.... No I am not George...This is Geno... Why yes... I would love to have Satellite TV... But I am crashing on my friend's couch... Can I make the decision?  He gets home around 6 so we will have to hurry... He's one of those I hate TV I don't want one types... but I am thinking if he is wired for Satellite and getting a bill for it he may break down and get one.... So... what do you need from me? Well no I am not authorized to make such an expenditure but how long do you plan on working there anyway? I have telemarketed bullshit like this and after my first check I quit before they find out I made quota by selling to little kids and dudes crashing on couches...here let me get his dog to bark that should be close enough right? 




The Geno Charlie Sheen Fantasy Buddy Night part 1


Geno: (answering cell phone) Hello…


Charlie: Hey gnarly gnarlston, wassup Geno da bambino you wild thang…


Geno: Masheeeeeen…Charlie da Mashheeeeeno bambino babe scoring the light is greeeno….


Charlie: Eugene you Eugenics experiment gone right brostein gnarley gnarlowitster…


Geno: Charlie only the best tasting tunas get to be eaten by Charlie!


Charlie: Yo bro speakin’ of Flow…Thought maybe you might wanna go to Church with me this fine Sunday morning…


Geno: You’re kidding right?


Charlie: No my bro sometimes when the holy spirit calls a man has to get on his knees and shoot the breeze with the jeees….


Geno: Seriously? Church? Really?


Charlie: 45 minutes of Lord then we jump in a car you’ll never be able to afford and we head toward Mexico where the tequila is waiting and the senioritas need datin’


Geno: Church? What Anton Lavays church?


Charlie: No bro gnarley gnarley knucklehead…The First babestist church of Malibu…


Geno: Oh…okay….


Charlie: I’m taking 3 hookers to mass how many you want?


Geno: If you’re taking 3 I want 3, envy is a very deadly sin…


Charlie: Gotcha Eugene I shall send my private jeterooni because I am a billionaire and you are a 9 dollar air and one 3 dollar lottery ticket holder…


Geno: Is Alex Jones coming?


Charlie: No that Pussy Pussentein needs to yakketyyakkety about the big bad new world order and the Mehicans on da border…And you my friend can look at the fine piece of dine I have lined up for the sublime but you could never afford her…I am taking no prisoners…not living in the middle…No wishy washy bitchy prissy diddle diddle it’s all or nothing…those lightweight losers want to take issue with my boobybamboozers…You can kill me but you can’t judge me…


Geno: Wow Charlie cool…I’m there…I’ll be ready…


Charlie: Who the hell are you anyway? Satan asked me to show you a good time…You in negotiations to sell your soul?


Geno: Well yeah I asked for a 3 picture deal with complete creative control and he countered with two tickets to Cats so we’re sort of at opposite extremes right now…


Charlie: You mean extremeroonibamboobyboobies…


Geno: Uh well yeah I er guess so…Gnarley Sheen…


to be continued…



Hello is Kerry Lynn Cassidy there? No... Is David Wilcock there? How about
Maxwell Jordan? David Icke? Is George Noory in? Oh.... sorry... Thought I called Earth...
While I got you on the line... If you guys really are living inside the moon controlling Earth can you
give me a tour? I'm with the Galactic Star Force the Black hole Squad... We mainly work with 
the retarded thus my trip to Earth... Thursday would be good do you validate parking?





The Fantasy Geno/Kerry Lynn Cassidy Interview part 1



Kerry: Thank you for sitting down with us Geno…


Geno: Us?… the guy with the Crocodile Dundee hat is going to be here? You said we’d be alone…


Kerry: Maybe I said it in your dreams but yes he will be here soon he had to pick up batteries for the wireless mic…


Geno: Bummer, will you kiss me before he gets here?


Kerry: No…


Geno: So then why did you want to interview me no one takes me seriously on the internet…all my alien abductions were by Mexicans nice enough to pick me up when I was hitch hiking….


Kerry: This is your fantasy if I could help being here I would, I think you are a crass juvenile whiner and Asha was right about you…


Geno: Why do I have such crappy fantasies…? I get the girl alone but she always starts saying things that piss me off– I throw a tantrum and wake up only to find I have torn my pillow to shreds…







Kerry: Okay first question, are you really a drunk or just play one on the internet…?


Geno: Will Lew be truth testing this?


Kerry: Yes he will…
Geno: Then yes, yes I am a drunken sod…



Kerry: Why don’t you get eye level with your kids while shooting them like Asha said…?


Geno: Because it’s their fucking job to get taller…


Kerry: You don’t believe in wearing anything close to the vest do you?


Geno: What do you mean?


Kerry: Strangers across the world know more about you than your own mother…


Geno: Yes but less than my German Jewish handler lady who has been giving me toys and taking them away since I was half an hour old…Stupid Kraut Bitch.


Kerry: You had 5 older sisters and a domineering mother, a stupid kraut bitch handler and had a child with a daughter of a rich freemason insurance man who uses as you term– them fat ass dyke bureaucrat judgebitches in Madison Wisconsin to arrest you every time your late paying 9000 dollars interest on a 3000 dollar loan they gave her to go to school…you frequent strip clubs and show a general dislike and disrespect for women..


Geno: Not true I like every woman but the one’s you listed…


Kerry: Let’s talk about sock puppet…


Geno: What has that big mouth priss told you?


Kerry: Can you put him on for me?


Geno: You know it babe…


Kerry: No, not like that I want to ask him about your temper…


Geno: Sock puppet is at a SWM meeting…


Kerry: What is SWM?


a socks without mates party at the holiday inn…


Kerry: Oh that’s too bad, let’s talk about the Ben Fulford site… Don’t you worry that the insane things you post will result in a long stay at a home for disturbed bloggers…


Geno: A home? Like with walls and beds? That would be a dream come true…


Kerry: When you blog you seem to really care about saving the world but then you go and ruin it all with a tasteless dick joke…are you a tavistock institute creation?


Geno: Did I ever tell you about the time I was hit by a train going 80 miles an hour and lived to tell the tale…


Kerry: Yes we’ve heard that story a hundred times…


Geno: I punked that bitch…Amtrak schmamtrak…


Kerry: Geno…


Geno: Yes Kerry Lynn Cassidy– why does that sound like a manchurian candidate name?


Kerry: I don’t know Eugene Gordon Kalmes…



And Kerry, where ever you are…I will always cherish this cease and desist letter from your lawyers…

1 comment:

  1. Malia
    Thanks for the encouragement but where would Rodney Dangerfield have been if he looked on the bright side of things…?
    Which reminds me, I don’t get no respect…I asked my doctor if he thought I was overweight and he said, “Yes, fat too…”
    I asked my ex if I was the best she ever had and she said, “Excuse me do I know you?”
    I asked my son why he never gave me a coffee mug that said, world’s greatest Dad and he said, “make up your mind, You want me to lie or you don’t…?”
    No respect…

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