Thursday, January 19, 2012

Random Island


I told you this too would get old... Can't we save money on costumes and whips and fake mustaches and go to the Bahamas this year?



"A few thousand years ago . . . you got married," said the husband in his best Rod Sirling voice.
"And slowly, but surely, you've been flaking away," the wife replied in her best Rod Sirling voice.
"Ever so gradually turning into your parents . . ."
"Who are certifiably insane . . . we know . . . we see them on holidays . . ."
"Along the way, you get out the camera and take pictures . . ."
"Freezing the insanity in place and time . . ."
"You put these pictures into a photo album . . ."
"From time to time you look back at them . . ."
"And they jar your memory . . ."
"Reminding you that yes, you were well on the way to losing your freaking mind even back then . . ."
"That vacation in the Bahamas is a blur . . ."
"You try to recall . . . Did the plane crash?"
"The pictures look as if you have amnesia . . ."
"Perhaps it was the rum or the funny cigarette the native boy sold you . . ."
"The kids weren't there that much you remember . . ."
"You wish they were so you'd have someone to blame . . ."
"A reason why you felt so shipwrecked, lost, bored to tears with each other as if you'd been there alone forever . . ."
"It's when you first noticed each other . . ."
"Finishing each others' sentences . . ."
"No matter how absurd . . ."
"Now all you've got is a photograph . . ."
"And you realize you're not coming back anymore . . ."
"Ringo said it best . . ."
"Welcome to the family photo gallery . . ."
(Sitting on the stage like they have had too much rum, smoke, heat and each other.)
"If I were home I'd be . . ." "Watching one split second of fifty channels simultaneously."
"Yep."
"If we were home . . ."
"You'd be screaming at me to stop and watch one thing."
"Conveniences . . . I miss my salad shooter."
"I miss the oscillating fan that I place in front of the air conditioner."
"I think we're going to die here . . ."
"The sun . . . the sun is going to kill us."
"The sand . . . the sand is going to continue to collect in our ears until our equilibrium shifts and we fall, our head hitting a rock and splitting open like a sand bag."
"You think?"
"I know so."
"The sun. The sun is going to rob us of our moisture so quietly and subtly that we'll try to get up and realize we're hanging from the beak of a gull, our flesh like dried jerky on the way to become part of the Caribbean food chain.
"There's that gull that looks like that pop singer . . ."
"Barry Manillow."
"Why's he circling overhead? Why doesn't he just go write the songs that make the whole world sing and leave us alone?"
"Writers' block maybe."
"There's that cloud again."
"The one that looks like the old D.W. Griffith movie, Intolerance?"
"I don't know how you can see a six-hour silent movie in a cloud."
"Well, it's certainly not a talky . . ."
"Talky? You sound like great granddad. I think the island is aging us."
"And that cloud looks like a ducky."
"The travel agent said we'd rediscover our youth and vitality. The oysters would make you young and prematurely ejaculate again."
“That one looks like a social security check . . ."
"How the hell do they expect us to live on that?"
"Here comes that cloud again that looks like a rescue plane."
"Quickly light the fire - they must see our smoke."
"I asked the waiter to bring us some matches."
"Where is he curse him! The white fluffy airplane is passing over. It's too high up! I don't think it sees us!"
"Please get a hold of yourself. Three more days. Our return flight is in three more days."
"Oh my God there's that crab."
"The one who stole our little island tourist guidebook?
"He's pretending he doesn't see us."
"Because of him we missed everything."
"Like he couldn't pinch his own."
"What's he saying to that jellyfish? Can you read his lips?"
"I think he's talking about us. They're laughing.
"If I had my spear gun . . . Honey swim to the boat and get the spear gun."
"Sweetheart, you're hallucinating . . . We don't have a boat."
"We don't?"
"The sun. The sun is playing tricks on you. I'll run and find the professor; he'll know what to do.
"Don't leave me alone. I feel the end is . . . You want to go back to the hotel room and shower up?"
"Call the kids. We forgot to call the kids."
"We have kids? Where are they? Hunting wild boars with Piggy? Poor Piggy, poor misunderstood Piggy. Someone broke his glasses."
"Piggy is dead. They killed him."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"No, but you can stop worrying; he's dead. He doesn't need his glasses."
"Gilligan is the one they should have killed."
"You want to smoke any more of this?
"No, I need a blend of rums and fruit juices and crushed ice in a fufu with sugar on the rim."
"I told you to tip right away. He's left us here to die."
"I like tipping at the end."
"But they don’t come back."
"I'm going to complain to the hotel manager. What did his name tag say?"
"Friday."
"They're all named Friday - why is that?"
"What day is it?"
"Barry Manilow is closer; it must mean we're almost dead."
"Isn't that Karl Malden? Why's he dressed like that with the hat and the gray suit in this sweltering heat?"
"That's a piece of driftwood, honey."
"I feel so stupid."
"The sun's too hot to walk or crawl. We'll have to wait for nightfall when it cools down."
"Long distance rates will be cheaper then."
"Let's sharpen a stick in case we're attacked.
"The volcano is angry."
"Why? We supposed to tip the volcano too?"

*******


Yes I like the blue light and yes you still turn me on but can't we just look at some travel brochures? You can tie me to a palm tree...




PILOT SEASON PITCHES

Bureaucrat Island
All the fatasses pushing paper and sending tax bills and collectors and warrants out to their fellow citizenry and collecting government tax payer salaries for decades is ousted from their jobs and dropped on Bureaucrat island where they are given the tools of their trade to survive.
Name plate
Stapler
Ink pad and stamp
chair with wheels
paperclips
pencil cup
picture of their fat ugly kids


Hollywood are you listening?

The reality show…

Trillionaire Island…

These Trillionaires are dropped on an island with a box cutter and a survival guide…

I’m soooo in front of the TV….

Beatbox says:  I will start a tour cruise line that will pass by and wave at them and teaching our children how these people thought they could kill everyone and get away with it…Of course there would be day and night patrols to make sure they don’t escape. We should also tag them, so they can be tracked like produce.

LOL Beatbox!

*******

Sympathy should be reserved for poor people who stole food not filthy rich people who engage in child sacrifice.

@vlastic
Unfortunately freedom is tricky…You can’t just outlaw what we might think is dark or sleazy…however we can balance it with large doses of decency/truth/how a family who does not allow drugs and porn into their lives is much happier and stronger and healthier…as it stands Hollywood is 99% sleazy devil worship and almost nothing honest to counter balance it…

HOWEVER... people need a permit to have company picnics and tupperware parties... How about a law that says they cannot meet for secret orgies that may involve dark ritual without a permit? That way, they are subject to the same laws and breaking the law allows the cops to close them down or someone to report it.

It is either WE ALL get to gather secretly and without permits or nobody does... and the word secrecy beckons the questions of why?

Adults having adult fun...fine.... underage people being prostituted... not fine.... blood ritual...sacifice... not fine... planning world government while bonding with blood... not fine.

We will need to try and use technology to both preserve privacy and track nutjobs... for example... Every time a truck bombing occurs all the people in power act like it was a shock....

ROLL THE FUCKING TAPE!

Every inch of this planet is under constant surveillance from the satellites... google earth is a clue to that.... rewind the tape.... where did the truck begin its trip from?

IF... BIG IF.... IF we manage to put technologies in their proper places and end senseless violence... after all ending it is as easy as allowing people the freedom to grow food and prosper and erase desperation...

IF we have a world free of war...
Entertainment could be a useful tool…instead of there being real wars movies can depict all the wars of the past and countless stories about them…
I like the old black and white movies when censors demand good taste in depicting violence or sex…however I remain precariously teetering on the slippery slope of who decides…
True balance…if at all possible needs to be something entertainment for the masses strives for…
Now back to Trillionaire Island…
We need to hunt Kissinger…give him a head start, make him keep the apple in his mouth and make him wear lingerie…

**************
In public school they teach everyone is number one…
Then kids try to get a job…
Ahh yeah…Man french fryer number one and your name tag is upside down genius…Hey who here knows the difference between a frozen hamburger and a cooked one?
beautiful…you are in charge of the spatula…Okay who can count to 10 and make change?
I said who can count to ten and make change?
Helloooooooooo…
***

Slowboy asks: What is this RV?
Geno answers: 
Recreation vehicles
rogue vaginas
rat villas
racey virgins
raspy voices
rinsed vulvas
rabbi voodoo
rearend vacancy?
I give up…
survey says….rump varnish!



3 comments:

  1. "The Central Intelligence Agency owns everyone of any significance in the major media."
    --William Colby, former CIA Director, cited by Dave Mcgowan, Derailing Democracy

    "You could get a journalist cheaper than a good call girl, for a couple hundred dollars a month."
    --CIA operative, discussing the availability and prices of journalists willing to peddle CIA propaganda and cover stories. Katherine the Great, by Deborah Davis

    "There is quite an incredible spread of relationships. You don’t need to manipulate Time magazine, for example, because there are [Central Intelligence] Agency people at the management level."
    --William B. Bader, former CIA intelligence officer, briefing members of the Senate Intelligence Committee, The CIA and the Media, by Carl Bernstein

    "The Agency's relationship with [The New York] Times was by far its most valuable among newspapers, according to CIA officials. [It was] general Times policy ... to provide assistance to the CIA whenever possible."
    --The CIA and the Media, by Carl Bernstein

    "Senator William Proxmire has pegged the number of employees of the federal intelligence community at 148,000 ... though Proxmire's number is itself a conservative one. The "intelligence community" is officially defined as including only those organizations that are members of the U.S. Intelligence Board (USIB); a dozen other agencies, charged with both foreign and domestic intelligence chores, are not encompassed by the term.... The number of intelligence workers employed by the federal government is not 148,000, but some undetermined multiple of that number."
    --Jim Hougan, Spooks

    "For some time I have been disturbed by the way the CIA has been diverted from its original assignment. It has become an operational and at times a policy-making arm of the government.... I never had any thought that when I set up the CIA that it would be injected into peacetime cloak and dagger operations."
    --former President Harry Truman, 22 December 1963, one month after the JFK assassination, op-ed section of the Washington Post, early edition

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bummed out is merely a role I play to hang humor on…like Rodney Dangerfield’s no respect…other self deprecating costumes I wear for effect are my drinking problem (no problem at all as long as there’s liquor in the house) my constant unemployment and lack of money (or socks) my former Playboy status turned not even a stray cat wants my free milk…my nomadic journey’s like a dizzy blind drunk man trying to pin the tail on route 80 west...

    My impending trial for weed…My stalkers…and the very unfunny situation regarding my son…
    And then every once in a while you guys set me up like a fat guy at a buffet…Like Malias letter from the bank for credit…BING…went the light in my head…The light bulb that the green police now give tickets for…
    Ya see…I’m a nice guy who would rather make people laugh at his own expense than to attack ya’ll even though I have no freaking idea what you people are talking about most of the time…I soooo want to sometimes say…
    Rafael what the hell are you talking about but I don’t because clearly rafael is way more enlightened and smarter than me and uses secret quotients…and I don’t want him to respond because I’ll have to respond and just look dumber so Rafael take the high road and pretend you didn’t read this…
    Then there’s Lew’s truth testing…I so want to be truth tested but unless he can grade on a curve and take into account I will tell grandios lies to get a laugh then I think it is best just to tip toe politely by his bullshit detector…
    As for everyone else…
    Links aren’t evidence…they are links to even more insanity backed up by even crazier people…
    I should know I was once sane and then I began clicking links…

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lew

    You and I have discussed this subject privately many times and I still can’t make the connection between Ben’s consistently wrong prognostications and your truth testing indicates just the opposite. Is it that Ben THINKS the information is true? Whether its his own opinion or info from a “source”?

    The perfect example was the constant talk of the Federal Reserve “going down this week”. Or some other future date that NEVER materialized. This was clearly wrong at the time, its still wrong and will probably be wrong well into the future. And I personally think this was Ben’s opinion. In that case, his opinion would be testing as true….is that correct?

    Because I think a LOT of what Ben says….and I’m not talking about reporting news that is always included to some degree in his weeklies…..is just his opinion, hope and fantasy. He seems personally invested in a lot of it and I think he gets carried away with it in many instances.

    And the example I cited re: the ninjas clearly shows that was Ben’s opinion..or hope. Would that have tested 100% true, too?

    P—


    Regarding Ben’s track record, predicting the future accurately is not possible. I have truth tested Ben’s bio and his posts. Regarding the past and the now, he has been a truthful reporter. His bio is 100% true. He has truthfully reported what he has learned directly, or what he has learned from others (his contacts). He has truthfully reported the plans (of TPTB and others)he has learned about. However, plans for future actions/events often do not happen, not because they were not truthfully reported but because “things happen.” Giving the plans the light of day often causes them to be changed. Plus, every human has free will, so there are an infinite number of timelines going forward from each moment of time. The best that can be done about predicting the future is to assign probablities to future events.

    Comment by lew3 on April 15, 2011 @ 2:32 am

    ReplyDelete